Fraternity Kitchen

Hard Work

Friday, November 28th, 2008 | daily | No Comments

The day before Thanksgiving, my husband stopped in for biscuits. His employer felt he needed an entire week off for the holiday and his job isn’t even hard: He just travels to exotic locales and has business meetings at the best restaurants in Seattle. What’s hard about that? While he was here “doing a Meaker” as we will now call it, Stephen H. yelled from the dining hall, “Darlene, you are the MOST wonderful woman in the world,” unable to see that my husband was standing there. I had to explain that it isn’t me that causes them to lose their heads, it’s bacon. Phil gets the spotlight today because he spent most of Thanksgiving on the incredibly tedious task of recovering my deleted posts and working on a more user-friendly recipe page which I hope to have up soon. Okay, he works really hard for me.

Grateful

Thursday, November 27th, 2008 | daily | 1 Comment

Thanksgiving in Louisiana

My younger brother sent me this picture and I imagine that at this moment he and my family, along with our oldest son who flew down for the week, are tucking into dinner while Phil and I are alone here in Seattle. It’s okay, though, because as a consolation I went to Whole Foods yesterday and bought fresh duck, artisanal cheeses, organic pumpkin and everything I need to make Tom Douglas’s cornbread corn pudding. So we will eat well. And it’s not that we weren’t welcome in other people’s homes; it’s that Thanksgiving is one occasion when joining in other people’s family psycodrama is just too weird. At other times, I’m all for that. Besides, I’m insufferably snobbish when it comes to Thanksgiving dinner: no marshmallows, no packaged stuffing, no green bean casserole (I know it’s downright un-American of me, but honestly, how does anyone get that stuff down?). Anyway, should we feel the need for lots of cheery company, the guys have invited us to a kegger, an invitation so out of keeping with the wholesomeness of the holiday that it’s almost appealing. But not as appealing as our simple meal of Slow-Roasted Duck, Salad Greens with Roasted Pumpkin, Walnuts, Dried Cranberries and Oregon Rogue Creamery Blue, Cornbread Corn Pudding and a very special wine: Last Spring Break, Perry, who has since graduated, returned from Napa with a gift of a 2006 Los Carneros Pinot Noir from Reynolds Family Winery. I will be enjoying that wine tonight, grateful for many things this year, but none more so than the color and light these guys add to my life.

Kitchen Chat

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008 | daily | No Comments

“What the HELL!!!?” That’s how I greeted Steven this morning on my way up from a failed attempt to enter the basement. I didn’t know it was his birthday. He was the first person I saw, poor thing, and his non-response was “I don’t know, I hardly live here anymore.” It was a good answer and I told him I could see why, then added, “text Jesse that if I can’t get to my freezer, there’s no lunch.” And even after all that, Steven followed me into the kitchen with his cereal bowl to chat. For an hour. This is a milestone because we didn’t exactly bond last year when he was a pledge. It’s not a question of me not liking him, as he put it today; it’s that, next to Jeremy, who was so indolent the guys actually kicked him out of the house, Steven holds the prize for most lazy person ever. And it’s not me who says so; once last year he told me himself “I’m lazy,” like it was a disability I ought to be sensitive to. But I like anyone who sits on the stool in my kitchen and keeps me company, because the truth is I’m not one of those people who thinks cooking is relaxing; I think it’s tedious. If I could just read about food and make up the menus and have someone else do all that work.

Meaker the Chef

Monday, November 24th, 2008 | daily | 7 Comments

“That looks sort of good,” Meaker pronounced as I pulled the Braised Brisket with Roasted Garlic out of the oven. He graduated ages ago, but still drops in from time to time to harass the cook and pilfer some food. “Sort of good, Meaker? What are you having for dinner tonight?” He didn’t know (of course he did, he was going to enjoy some brisket) but he said he had some duck fat in his fridge that he gathered after reading one of my blog posts. He wanted to know what on earth to do with it and I had the answer I give everyone who wants to be a convert: Fried potatoes. But it turns out that he didn’t really need my help. When he lived in the house, the meals he would often ask me to make–meals he claimed to be an expert at preparing–sounded more like the kinds of things I remember eating at Baptist summer camp than anything I was likely to inflict on these guys. So I was stunned to hear him say that he actually had used some of that duck fat…to fry some pancetta, pear and cheese sandwiches. The news that the cheese was pepper Jack because “that’s all we had in the fridge” did nothing to diminish my astonishment and effectively softened me up for the predictable “you wouldn’t have a to-go box for some of that brisket would you?”

Johnny the Funny

Friday, November 21st, 2008 | daily | No Comments

It was an odd scene at lunch today, Newman half naked next to Johnny, inexplicably dressed for the Iditarod. The great thing about working for guys is that they tend to have very short memories about the bad stuff. Johnny once announced that “Darlene can go f*** herself!” after a dispute over access to the kitchen, an outburst I found so charming that when their advisor (who I will start calling Ted) emailed me a few minutes later to suggest some nice snacks for the boys, I replied with some suggestions of my own. But that’s ancient history and today he was sweetly eager for me to like his hat in that same funny way that one of the guys once asked me if he looked “cool enough” in his new clothes. Johnny earns points with me because he doesn’t do the kinds of things that make the cook really cranky: putting an empty bowl of guacamole back in the fridge, leaving whole gallons of milk out of the fridge. At least I don’t think he does, because when I’m around he makes a great production of NOT being the dumbass who does these things. And many times last year, he was wickedly funny with his tongue-lashings of the pledges over their inability to tell dirty from clean. This year’s pledge class has deprived us of this form of entertainment, but Johnny finds countless other ways to amuse.

As Long as You’re Happy

Thursday, November 20th, 2008 | daily | No Comments

I learned this morning that Jesse K. was responsible for yesterday’s flowers. He denied it, said it was a House thing, said it was a great mystery, and then said…”as long as you’re happy.” It’s funny coming from Jesse since I almost always tell him “no,” no matter the question. In my defense, it’s because he waits until the second he wants something to ask and it’s never a quick deal…”can I have chicken instead?,” just as I’m pulling the tortilla-crusted tilapia out of the oven tonight. I wondered today if I’m too hard to please when I was reaching my bitch quota and taking it out on Alex, my driver. Is it too much to expect your green bananas to be green, your 1″ stew beef to be close to 1″, and just for once to go a whole week without a delivery three hours past your so-called window? I almost asked him who I have to sleep with to get a morning delivery, but I was afraid he might tell me, and, y’know…too much information. Before I could make that big gaffe, he stepped back, told me he doesn’t run the company, but “what can I do to make you happy?” It was shortly after that that I survived falling down the stairs, a case of canned tomatoes in my arms, and realized I might be missing a sense of proportion.

Battle of the Blog

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 | daily | No Comments

What’s amusing to me about this is imagining the conversation behind it. I picture them trying to decide what to do for me before settling on flowers. “I know, let’s keep the unisex bathroom clean for a week.” “No, I have a better one, let’s pledge to not put one item through the dishwasher fifty times a day.” “Wait, what about this.,..let’s clean the microwave for the first time ever!” I could go on for a while, but I don’t think any such conversation took place. In fact, I don’t think the guys are responsible for the gorgeous flowers and the sentiment in the card, even if they agree with it. I suspect their adult advisor, who will not be pleased to learn the subject of today’s entry. To say he’s opposed to the blog doesn’t capture the tension that has been building around here for months. But yesterday, we finally had The Talk. I knew it was coming when he asked me if I could spare a few minutes…in the solarium. I was going to say it was like being called to the principal’s office, but it was more like receiving a letter from the IRS. The principal might be giving you the Student of the Month award. When someone who recoils at conflict decides to have The Talk with you, it’s way worse than it is with someone who likes a good fight. It’s like the parent who says they’re so disappointed with you when you’d rather just get a good old-fashioned spanking. But in the end, we reached detente: I will keep blogging, he will keep hating it, but the cold war is over.

On the food front, lunch today was French Dip and I just don’t understand the raves this gets. Bread and meat. I should be happy that this crowd pleaser frees me up to make my own chicken enchiladas, including a homemade sauce, for dinner and to reject Kirk’s dismissive “you know we sell those.” I should be happy, but…I just slice the baguettes and warm up the roast beef. Where’s the love?

Everyone in the Kitchen

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 | daily | No Comments

I was about to bring out the spaghetti sauce tonight when Badley (on the left) piped up with “is there stuff in this sauce?” As anyone who’s been following this blog for, oh, the past three days, knows, this probably isn’t a great time to mess with me. But leave it to Badley. “Stuff?” I prodded. “Yeah, y’know, mushrooms and onions and crap like that…I just want meat and tomatoes. So I said, “Badley, was your mom the type who browned up some ground beef, tossed in a can of cream of tomato soup and called it dinner?” It was so disturbing to see his eyes just light up at that, although he seemed disappointed that, no, his mom never thought of that. I was late with dinner tonight because the so-called smart clock on my wall had gone through another bout of racing through time, trying to find the appropriate hour until I had enough and yanked it off the wall. Jeff M. was sent out to buy me a new one and I told him to make sure he got me a dumb clock. And so Brian was busy assembling that while Badley tormented me with his hyper pickyness, Patrick just laughed and others crowded into the mayhem of the kitchen at something after five o’clock. And all the while, no one wanted dinner on time more than me because I had a date crashing a Microsoft business dinner at Zoe with my husband. Grown-up conversation. Someone else doing the cooking. As days go, it was a very good one and there was some truly extraordinary food to be had today at lunch when I presented a plate of antelope summer sausage that Daniel had included with the raw game. I put it out on a large platter and asked the clearly rhetorical question “how many frats have that for lunch today?”

Reset

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008 | daily | 3 Comments

Every now and then I decide to quit my job. Most people in foodservice probably feel that way, but most don’t cook at a frat house. It’s everything you might imagine, only more so. I had reached the quitting point a couple of days ago after a week of difficult customers, health inspectors, failing equipment and the realization that the only people I talk to all day are 20 year old guys. So I deleted all my posts, removed my blog from the web and started composing my gracious exit letter. And then yesterday, about ten guys in a row demanded to know why my blog was down, like they’d failed to get their morning paper. But that’s not what changed my mind. It was Daniel walking into the kitchen to announce he’d brought armloads of wild game. Deer and antelope. His father hunts and fishes and he had once brought me tuna, which I poached in olive oil. It’s pictured here because raw game isn’t such a pretty sight. I’ve never tasted, much less prepared, antelope…”it might as well be kangaroo,” I told my meat expert from US Foodservice. But I want to, and so I will have to wait at least until it thaws and I’ve decided what to do with it before I quit. And then I’ll be over it. Besides, it will be almost time for Thanksgiving break.

Bad Week

Friday, November 14th, 2008 | daily | No Comments

This is what I was supposed to accept as a head of lettuce. It’s sitting next to a 1.5 ounce bag of chips. There were six of them like that in my order for two consecutive deliveries and I put my foot down; I told my driver “I’m not paying for that…would you pay for that?” and he took it off my bill. I sent this picture to Kirk, my patient sales guy, and titled it “Lilliputian Lettuces.” I will say this for US Foodservice…they take my antics very seriously and always make it right. But it was one of a series of things that made this a trying week. Yesterday we had our first visit of this year from the health inspector who gave us numerous points (a bad thing, I had to tell one of the guys) because “this house is falling apart.” Like that was a revelation. “It’s old,” I said, ”and anyway, write whatever you want on there, I don’t have any control over the creeky, falling-down house.” He didn’t like my attitude, but I could have been worse; I could have reminded him that the last time he visited and gave me a perfect score, the house was in the same piece of crap condition. I think he’s feeling some resentment at being assigned to the U-District, a definite demotion from downtown. To cap off my week, the freezer is operating at a potentially unsafe 10 degrees, but help is on the way. I was referred to a company called “Wild Men Refrigeration,” a name so blush-inducing, I will have to get a picture when they come on Monday.

Day Off

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008 | daily | No Comments

I’m off today and good thing. It’s my first vacation day since September 1 and my driver Alex could probably tell I needed it yesterday when he was five hours past my usual delivery time. “Late and Incomplete,” I declared as I signed the paperwork. He said something about failing my class and even winked at Perry, like it wasn’t a serious matter. When your delivery is five hours late, it’s not as if you can declare dinner at midnight; you just have to get it done, which has the upside that when you’re finished, you really are done, free to spend your day off…catching up on food reading and working on a menu for the annual Holiday Party (which Bob insists on calling a Christmas party, Jews and Muslims in the House notwithstanding). I am torn between the conventional and the radically unexpected. Like my well-travelled mom, who has been known to serve lamb tajine and couscous for Thanksgiving dinner, charmingly and without apology.

The Day After

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 | daily | No Comments

It’s not our House and it’s not the home of the ultimate undecided voter. It’s a tradition here to flood this sorortiy with stolen signs the day after. 90% of our guys were elated and even some of the rest spent last night whooping it up in Seattle’s Capitol Hill. Any excuse for a party. Brian let me know that I could serve the “Election Night Chicken” once a week forever. The recipe for the rub is posted.

At Least the Food Will Be Good

Tuesday, November 4th, 2008 | daily | No Comments

 Badley checks the blog daily to see if he’s on it and today I gave in, but only after he gave me a cute little campaign t-shirt. It’s election day and the tv room, directly across from my kitchen, is packed with guys in various moods awaiting the first results. We have early voting in Washington state and, just as you’d expect of college guys, most turned in their ballots before the very last second. It helps that it was a take-home test and I assured them I was happy to assist with a perfect score. As well as the obvious, we’re voting on the controversial “when I’m ready to go, I’m goin” ballot initiative (as Jeff L. put it). But whatever the results, the house smells gloriously of smoky roast chicken and bacon-topped baked beans. Homemade potato salad, corn muffins and garden salad with Ranch dressing rounds out a thoroughly ecumenical meal.